- guest post and photo contributed by Ari
In my beginning I hated when summer started. Seeing all the teens out and about, enjoying life, happy
families at the park, nature's beauty in full bloom. Hated it all! When the warmth of summer gave way
to the cool days and evenings of autumn I was finally able to breathe easier. I could stay in my cocoon
and wrap my grief around me to keep me warm for the winter. Then it would start all over again the
next year.
But as time goes by, and the years flow into each other, these feelings have become softer, easier on
my heart. Never to leave all together but definitely better. Time does heal. The seasons don't hurt so
much anymore. It has been over 5 years without my son, my beloved, my heart.
Summer came and went this year, and I noticed it mostly by the swimming pool opening, and then closing at the end of the season. Softball games in the evening at the park nearby still gave me a pang, hearing the raucous laughter of those young kids. But it was alright, it also made me smile many times too.
This autumn the changing leaves on the trees with their fiery reds, bright oranges, and golden yellows
have given me moments of intense beauty - and gratitude that I can enjoy that beauty. I couldn't for a
long time.
This year autumn feels good. I will look forward to the white beauty of snow soon, cold evenings snuggled at home, warmth and quiet, peaceful and simple goodness. Then another spring and so on and so on.
Hold on, when seasons change please know that you will change too. Time helps.
In my beginning I hated when summer started. Seeing all the teens out and about, enjoying life, happy
families at the park, nature's beauty in full bloom. Hated it all! When the warmth of summer gave way
to the cool days and evenings of autumn I was finally able to breathe easier. I could stay in my cocoon
and wrap my grief around me to keep me warm for the winter. Then it would start all over again the
next year.
But as time goes by, and the years flow into each other, these feelings have become softer, easier on
my heart. Never to leave all together but definitely better. Time does heal. The seasons don't hurt so
much anymore. It has been over 5 years without my son, my beloved, my heart.
Summer came and went this year, and I noticed it mostly by the swimming pool opening, and then closing at the end of the season. Softball games in the evening at the park nearby still gave me a pang, hearing the raucous laughter of those young kids. But it was alright, it also made me smile many times too.
This autumn the changing leaves on the trees with their fiery reds, bright oranges, and golden yellows
have given me moments of intense beauty - and gratitude that I can enjoy that beauty. I couldn't for a
long time.
This year autumn feels good. I will look forward to the white beauty of snow soon, cold evenings snuggled at home, warmth and quiet, peaceful and simple goodness. Then another spring and so on and so on.
Hold on, when seasons change please know that you will change too. Time helps.
