by Jan McDaniel
In grief work, change can be a tool that motivates and moves you toward healing. Or, it can be a stressor that unsettles you and makes you step back from the gains you have made. Unlike changes in your life that you have no control over (and their consequences), recovering your balance and repairing and rebuilding your life includes many things you can command.
You have a choice. You have a choice about what to do next and whether you will focus on the positive or the negative. You can design and implement the transformations you desire in your life one small step at a time. You can do this. Yes, even you.
Life-affirming changes (and the positive outcomes they bring) can begin with an inexpensive pack of index cards, believe it or not, or sticky notes. On these simple items, you can write your new path. You don’t have to commit a lot of time or resources you may not have. Keep it simple. Write one change you want to make on each card. Work on ways to accomplish that one idea. If you’re not satisfied with the results, place the card in a box or file folder and come back to it later. Write down another change on another card. Start the trial and error process again. Record in your journal any successes as victories. If you don’t have a journal, start one now.
Could something this small really work? I used sticky notes to draft the book version of Peaceful Moments. I wrote one word on one note and stuck it to the side of my refrigerator. I posted other words there as I thought of them. Each word represented one thought I wanted to write about in this book.
I didn’t invent this technique. Other writers use it all the time. So do scientists, inventors, administrators...and almost everyone else. They discover what they want to do by dividing their work into small segments and then working on each step. They probably use sticky notes. I don’t know. What I do know is that one simple step at a time can change the entire world.
You are the expert on you. You can improve your life. What do you need? What do you want to change? Where can you start?
Losing a loved one is a very big change. How do you feel when you think about making changes? Is there a change you want to make now? How can you do it?
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
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Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: