by Jan McDaniel
Peace is part of the survivor experience even when it comes in tiny moments. I'm constantly awed by those times.
At first all I could see was the darkness of loss. I could feel no peace except the numbness of shock, the unconsciousness of sleep (when I could get it), and occasionally wild denial and fantastic daydreams in which I made up scenarios that had my husband coming home despite the impossibility.
Not true peace, those moments gave me a bit of relief, strength for the rest of my journey. The beginning is all about endurance. Each breath is a victory though it may not seem so. But I came to a point when I could look back and realize how something someone said or did had held me up.
The journey is long, my friends, and dark indeed. And it may seem that the turning of the calendar is taking more and more from you by taking you further away from your precious loved ones. But in reality, it is taking you closer and closer to more peace than you can imagine now and toward a new life in which you will feel their love only. Their pain will stay in the past. It is done.
We cannot change what has happened. I wish we could. But we can hold on, endure, and seek out those moments of fragile peace. We can hand them to each other and knit them together until they form a full and beautiful pattern for whatever is to come.
I will light a candle for you tonight and imagine how bright the light from all our candles all over the world will be.
What helps you find moments of peace? What have others said that helped you?
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
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Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: