by Sandy Walden
Is it possible to heal a relationship after death?
Years ago, someone, that I loved died. We didn’t have what most would consider a healthy relationship while he had a heartbeat. We both tried in our own way. I truly believe it’s something that we both wanted very much. Still, we were awkward, clumsy and one could say, for the most part estranged.
When he died, I hurt much more than I expected. Because our difficult relationship was known by most, there was almost zero support. To be fair, I didn’t ask for support, and frankly, the loss was not even mentioned by most. This really caused me to ponder my loss in many ways… what was I grieving? Were my feelings valid? Did I just need to suck it up and live with a relationship that would forever be lacking?
The more I thought about it, felt about it, the more determined I was to heal this relationship. To build something that healed my heart and allowed us to be more to one another. And so, it began. This too was a journey and the truth is that even now, many years along the path, the relationship continues to heal and grow closer.
A lot of forgiveness work was done – and continues. The lack of a close, loving relationship was not entirely his fault nor mine, we both did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Forgiving him and myself took a lot of work, and it’s totally been worth it. So much healing has happened. I talk to him now and trust that he hears me and responds in his own way, from The Other Side.
Truly, I feel as though we are much closer. The work that I have done has helped me to understand how much we are alike and always were. This is growth, this is healing.
When I work with grief clients, part of our work is to connect once again with their loved one on The Other Side. It is about acknowledging wounds, getting them out there without assigning blame. To forgive and reconnect. This is of course, only part of the work that we do, but it is incredibly powerful. It matters.
I’m truly grateful for the work that I’ve done, and will continue. Because the relationship I have with this person is now one that I appreciate and look forward to continuing.
‘Death ends a life, not a relationship’ ~ Jack Lemmon
When you are ready to begin your healing journey, reach out to Sandy for your complimentary consultation. Together, we walk through grief, into healing.
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
Follow on Instagram!
Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: