by Jan McDaniel
Today is a good day to find your peace. It doesn't matter if it is only a moment; that is how healing works. Peace grows as you seek it. Not steadily, but surely.
Holidays, especially Valentine's Day, were very painful for me for a long time, but then as I thought about my husband, I began to take these days to spend some quiet time alone thinking about him. I found solace in this way.
I might plant a rose bush or a tree, purchase several plants for containers that only produce white blossoms, or write in my journal. I might write a back-and-forth conversation that talks about the things about him I loved or a letter just for him. I'll spend some time thinking of other survivors and messaging with them or sit in my hammock and watch the sky. I'm sure to have a cup of hot tea and just be for a while. I might see my grandchildren or read notes from my family. But this is my special day to feel close to them all.
I've done all these things in years past, but today - for the first time - I will be out in the world on Valentine's Day. I will go to a Valentine's party at my local senior center. I will wear cute socks with heart shapes on them and a headband with wiggly, red hearts on springs and lots of red and white in between.
But the parts of the day I'm looking forward to most are the moments I smile to myself as a think of my dear one.
Today is a good day to find your peace, too. Sit by the water or in a garden. Walk on a forest path or run through the city. Write down the good memories you don't want to forget. Look at something so small it requires concentration.
Most of all, remember the love.
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
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Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: