by Jan McDaniel
The photo above shows my husband in a typical scene. He was a gentle man, kind and loving. The little dog, Baku, gave him a lot of joy. We had so much fun together. I know I was blessed to have the life I did. Our children were blessed to have a dad like him. Though we were together for many years, it is never enough. Still, I treasure those years.
It is not easy to remember the good days after great loss. There is so much pain and so much to mourn, not only what was lost but also what could have been. It is important to work through all of it. No matter how long it takes.
This takes time. I cannot tell you how long or exactly what it will be like for you because we are all different. Some things that will help on this journey, no matter how long it takes, are self-care, patience, supportive friends who will listen as long as you need to talk; groups or counselors of some type that can offer you a chance to share with others who are grieving or who have been on similar journeys as well as compassion and wisdom.
Take your time. There is no rush. There is much to do, and there will be more that comes along with losing a loved one. Use a notebook and pen to write down things you want to explore or tasks that need doing when you can. Try not to let those things overwhelm you. They will stay right there in the notebook until you can tackle them one at a time.
As you grow stronger, it will be easier to treasure your memories. Life will feel better. For now, stay close to those still with you. Hold on to every drop of joy or peace that comes you way.
If you are a father, you mean the world to someone. If you are grieving a child, know that you always did. And if you are grieving a dad or granddad, there are wonderful ways to remember them and to pass along those memories to your children.
We are all connected.
Happy Father's' Day, Ron. I love you. What you meant to all of us lives on.
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
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Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: