guest post by Sandy Walden
‘Death ends a life, not a relationship.’ – Jack Lemmon
If you haven’t discerned by now, I want to be very clear. I believe… no, it’s much more than belief, I know that life continues after death.
The truth is that or me, the very meaning of the word death is a bit different than it may be for others. I think of death as a transition. A doorway if you will. Exiting life on planet Earth and entering life on The Other Side.
When we are grieving the loss of someone we love, we miss so many things! One of the most basic and deeply meaningful things that we miss is the ability to talk with them. To hear their voice, listen to their thoughts, have a conversation. It means so much.
The trouble is that while they are absolutely able to communicate with us, we are no longer speaking the same language. They no longer have a body, a voice box, and speech. When they reach out to us – and they will, it will be in a new way.
I’ve shared the experiences that we continue to have with receiving acorns. These little nuggets are very physical, showing up in the most unexpected places. There is no doubt in my mind that my son knew I would have difficulty acknowledging more subtle communication. I simply was not able in the beginning, the grief was too profound.
We often believe that if we ask for a specific sign that we will know it is our loved one. And that rocks when it happens! Still, that may not be the way your loved one is able to reach across the veil. And it’s entirely possible that you are not able to discern that communication at this point. It doesn’t mean they are not reaching out – it just means you are not connecting.
I want to encourage you to be open to possibilities. Notice aromas that make you think of the one you love. Recently while having a Reiki session, I became aware that both my biological father and step-father were communicating and it was all due to aroma. First, the very specific fragrance of the pipe tobacco Clarence smoked. The fragrance changed to be that of fresh wood shavings, which made me think of my dad, Art. There is no doubt in my mind or heart that this was ‘Hello, I love you.’ from both of them.
If you are asking for a white feather, please don’t dismiss noticing a picture of a feather on a package or even someone mentioning a painting of a feather.
Perhaps you are asking to see a shape or light from your loved one, but so far it hasn’t happened. At the same time, you may notice that your pet is staring at a specific place, perhaps making sounds or acting playful. This may well be the one you love trying to connect with you.
This sort of communication is new to us, at least with this particular person. We each need to find our way and it may not look, sound or feel as we expect. Please be open to possibilities.
I think of it this way. If I expected one of my surviving sons to connect with me today, I’m most likely expecting a phone call. However, if they show up on my front doorstep, you bet I’m going to welcome them in. It may not be the communication that I expected, but it’s real. It’s wonderful. And it fills my heart with joy.
Talk to them. Sing to them. Invite them into your dreams. And if come to you in ways that you are not expecting, please, open the door. Let ’em in.
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: