post and photo by Ari
After my boy died we had a tree planted at our local little league baseball field. He spent
many summer days there playing baseball or just watching, and later, when he got older,
many evenings playing in a softball league. The perfect place - he loved that park!
When I visit his tree I try to go early mornings; it's always so very peaceful, and I look around
and remember him running around the bases, laughing with his buddies, stealing home
sometimes because he was fearless! My boy living and loving life. Those are the moments
I try to hold on to, when his smile lit up the world.
The other day as I neared his tree, I saw yellow from a ways off. It was his favorite color and
everything yellow makes me think of him now. As I got close I smiled - of course there would be
hundreds of little yellow flowers (weeds lol!) growing all around his tree! The plaque with his
name on it shone, reflecting the sun, and everything seemed so much brighter, so much yellow-er!
My boy's spirit was close that day and I took a moment to acknowledge him, I told him I loved him,
I thanked him for the yellow that made me smile. I walked back home with a lighter heart. Such
is our relationship now, and I am so glad I can “see” him still. I hope he smiles when he sees
his mama's smile.
Take a moment today to remember them. See and feel them, for they continue,just in a different form.
Not what we want, never that, but still there for us to love.
(My apologies if you don't believe - it is my intention only to provide a little comfort with my own experiences.)
Way for Hope
Losing someone you love is difficult, but it can mean a lot to hear from others traveling similar paths.
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Links of Value:
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Word of God
"My Story" Big Daddy Weave
"Hope in Front of Me"
The Joy FM
Traumatic loss or preexisting conditions can worsen mental health. Use this info graphic to find help.
"Take Charge of Your Mental Health" - a free download from www.nami.org: